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Dating Tips

The Love & Romance Home Page is pleased to present Dating Tips to help you find someone special.

Lisa Daily, (Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped! - All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry 'The One' in 3 years or less) has provided her thoughts and recommendations to help you through the dating maze.


How to Attract Women

By

Lisa Daily

These days my email box is jammed full with letters from men asking for advice on how to attract women. Being a woman myself, I'm a bit on the fence as far as revealing the chick's club secret code, but as an eternal optimist when it comes to love and relationships, I'll do whatever I can to get everybody happily coupled up.

So guys, this month it's your turn. Below you'll find some a combination of my favorite make-her-toes-curl moves, as well as some fun tidbits from the thousands of women who write to me, telling me what they look for in a guy.

Science first.

1. Take your positions for the mating dance.

Want to be the guy who gets noticed? Stand in the center of the room. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the author of several books and nationally-known expert in the field of spacial psychology, where you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with your ability to attract women. Where should you be for the highest impact and the greatest number of interested cuties? Smack-dab in the center of the room, standing up and moving around a bit. (But don't pace a track on the carpet for goodness sake...)

2. Nice guys wear blue.

According to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director of the Pantone Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every Mood, women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. And why wouldn't we be? According to Eiseman, guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful, constant and always there." The blue guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term relationship -- someone who's dependable, momogomous and can match his own clothes.

Concerned your wardrobe is driving people away? Stay away from what Eiseman calls "squished caterpillar yellow-green" which is said to repel both sexes equally.

3. Be an Alpha male, or just look like one.

According to Body Language Expert Patti Wood, you shouldn't fold your arms or chew on gum, ice or your fingernails. Wood says, chewing indicates anxiety or frustration, neither of which are very attractive emotions.

There's more. Women are biologically attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free to take up some space. Wood says appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.

For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.

Make your move.

1) The eyes have it.

Once you've zeroed in on a target, lock eyes with her for a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the girl's forehead for goodness sake, just give her a smoldering come-hither look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it's them you're flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness. Then, make your move. Walk up and start a conversation. Wait too long and they'll likely lose interest.

2) Preen like a peacock.

We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we're attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, such as straightening your tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a smile and a gaze.

3) Monkey see, monkey do.

People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone's behavior, they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and "in tune."

4) Go in for the kill.

Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating.

How to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for signs like extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.

What the women want:

Finally, once you've made your move, there are a few more strategies you should employ. According to my research and the hundreds of letters I receive every week, what women really want is pretty simple:

1) If you want a woman's phone number, be a man and ask for it. Don't pull that weenie-move of handing us your business card and expecting us to make the first move.

2) Don't wait a week to call. We know you're playing it cool and it irritates us. Two or three days is plenty of time to wait.

3) Don't wait until the last minute to ask for a date. Give us a chance to look forward to it. (On the other hand, in the early stages of a new relationship (first month) NEVER ask us for a date several months in advance. Let 's make sure the relationship is something both parties want to pursue before you get locked into plans you may not want to keep.)

4) Never pressure a woman for sex. Really. Especially on the first date.

5) Be a gentleman. That means paying for dinner, holding the door open, and using your table manners. (Even if you can belch the theme from Star Wars.)

6) Always offer your coat on a chilly night. (Yes, we know we should bring our own, but we don't. Besides, there's something utterly fabulous about cuddling up in your big man jacket.)

7) On top of that, be yourself. A really great guy.


Dating Expert Lisa Daily is an internationally known dating coach and the author of Stop Getting Dumped!

All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and Glamour Magazine

Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter with great dating advice on how to snag the man of your dreams at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com

Copyright ©2002-2006 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.


Dating Tips


January is National Breakup Month

By Lisa Daily

The holidays are over and just when you thought it was safe to put down the eggnog, you might find yourself smack in the middle of one of those "We Have To Talk" talks.

While November and December are generally unlikely months for breakups (who wants to be the jerk who ruined Thanksgiving?), January is usually the biggest month of all.

Why? For some, it feels like the first chance to make a clean break after the holidays (and the last chance before Valentine's Day rolls around.) And many men say they just don't want to be on the hook for the required Valentine's Day gift/flower arrangement/romantic dinner for a girl they're not really that crazy about. For others, the breakup is part of the New Year's resolution value package that includes getting a better job, losing the love handles, and embarking on a mission to find true love.

How do you know if your sweetie is about to lower the boom? Check below for some of the warning signs your relationship might be over soon.

6 Signs You Might Be Heading for a Breakup:

1. She's no longer interested in sex, or worse, she's recently learned some new tricks

A dramatic change in sexual behavior can mean two things: Either your sweetie is trying to avoid any situation where she might have to express emotion or attachment to you, or she's getting it somewhere else. Old dogs only learn new tricks if someone is teaching them.

2. This isn't about Toilet Paper! This is about Life!

If he's picking silly fights, or there's an unusual increase in emotional distance, you've got bad news. If your guy or girl is picking stupid fights all the time, they may be trying to get you to make the first move.

3. He says, "I need some space" or "I think we should see other people."

By telling you he wants to see other people, he's not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene to endure) but he's given himself a way out. Of course, the second he gets a little distance, he's going to make a run for it.

4. She gives you that little pat on the back.

Watch out for this one. A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uncomfortable with what they're doing. The bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel. Could be the kiss in front of Aunt Mildred. Could be garlic breath. Could be you.

5. She buys a pre-paid cell phone or pager.

This is a really bad sign. Private investigators everywhere will tell you the pager purchase is a sign of impending heartbreak. Sure, it could be for work, but more likely, she's using it to get a head start on her post-you life.

6. He used to be a blue jeans kind of guy, and suddenly he's obsessed with Armani.

A person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take greater care with his or appearance - updating his wardrobe, losing weight, working out and even changing cologne.

The good new is that if you make through to Valentine's Day, you're on the road to a long-term relationship. And if you don't? Well, just consider yourself lucky: you'll have lots of company. So, wipe away those tears, update your profile, and start your own mission to find true love. This could be your year.

Copyright © 2003-2006 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.


Dating Expert Lisa Daily is an internationally known dating coach and the author of Stop Getting Dumped!

All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and Glamour Magazine

Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter with great dating advice on how to snag the man of your dreams at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com


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7 Unexpected Places to Meet Great Men Over 40


By Lisa Daily

It breaks my heart whenever I hear women say that there aren’t any good men left, because it’s just not true. Sure, it feels true when you’re sitting across the table from your blind date—a guy who wears black socks with sandals and whines about how his seventh divorce really was all his wife’s fault, because frankly, in his opinion, all women are inherently evil gold diggers or both.

But there are a lot of decent men and women who are single and looking for someone to love: maybe they made a few mistakes in their first marriage; maybe they’ve never been married; maybe the spouse they loved has passed away. I know this because I’ve met so many of you—men and women who are a little older, a little (or a lot) wiser, and still hoping to find someone to share your life with.
Yes, it’s true there are lots of men who are damaged, depressed, and generally irritated about their past relationships. (And ladies, let’s be fair here—the guys aren’t the only ones hanging on to anger and hurt and disappointment.) But there are also a lot of men and women out there who have learned from their mistakes, who want to find love and do better this time. Not to mention the folks who had it pretty good the first time around and are looking for someone to love again.
So where do you go to meet these wonderful, enlightened, please-let-them-be- attractive, minimally damaged men and women?
We all know that once you hit your fortieth (er, thirtieth) birthday, you’re not going to have much luck spending every weekend hanging out in a bar, gripping a bottle of light beer, and listening to the same old jokes, meeting the same people in different clothes. When we belly up to the bar, we’re much more likely to meet that smarmy loser whose exposed silver chest hairs seem perilously likely to fall in our drinks than the man of our dreams.

That said, there are lots of great places to meet someone fabulous, and many of them have little or no competition.
Where are they? Well, ladies, let me fill you in.

1) Somebody Else’s Company Picnic:

Pair up with another single pal and survey his or her company’s assets. These events are social, and as an added bonus, you know everybody there is employed. Your insider buddy can act as your tour guide to help you avoid the guy who sticks paperclips up his nose or the weirdo with fifty-nine cats.

2) Go Clubbing:

Want to meet an endless supply of fit, financially comfortable, educated men? Take up golfing. Trust me, men go crazy for a woman who can swing a crooked stick. And once you start, you might just find you’re as addicted to golfing as the guys are.
If you don’t already golf, there are lots of reasonably priced lessons at your local public course. (And of course, plenty of overpriced ones at the private clubs.)


Once you’ve mastered the basics, you have two options to maximize your man-meeting potential: You can pull together a foursome with a collection of like-minded women, or you can head out to the course on Saturday morning as a single and complete someone else’s foursome.

If you bring your own foursome, most of your socializing will probably take place in the clubhouse after your round. And a group of four women in a clubhouse overpopulated by men is bound to stand out like a basket of daisies.

If you’re golfing as a single, you’ll be meeting three new people (most likely men) and odds are in your favor that at least one of them is single. (The Census Bureau estimates that 30 percent of Americans born between 1946 and 1964 are single.) You’ll have him all to yourself for eighteen holes, and if you like him, you can let him buy you a Bloody Mary when you finish your round.

Now, you might be thinking you’d rather golf with your married friends Barb and Frank, who are fun to hang with and who will certainly not roll their eyes when you hit your ball into the middle of the lake, like a bunch of strange men might.

However, if you’re golfing out for the purpose of meeting other people, you’ll be far less likely to socialize with strangers if you go with a couple you already know. That is, unless Barb and Frank are shameless matchmakers who are willing to lure charming bachelors to your table.

Or your cart.
The best news about dating a man who likes to golf: he has his own friends and his own interests (okay, interest)—which means he won’t be spending all his time hanging around your house in his bathrobe, hoping you’ll entertain him.
Finally, don’t worry about whether or not you’re any good—nobody is.

3) Join a Motorcycle Gang

Over-forty men are drawn to Harley-Davidsons like flies to sugar cookies. Whether you join a local motorcycle “gang” (check your dealership for a group of enthusiasts in your area—some even host single-rider groups) or go it alone, motorcycle riding is another man-friendly pastime and a great way to get you out on the town. Just make sure you wear a helmet.

4) Marianne Williamson, Meet Wayne Dyer

If you’re looking to meet someone as interested in self-growth as you are, attending lectures, conferences, and seminars by spiritual and self-development leaders can be a great place to start. Most of us get tear-our-hair-out frustrated by the frequent negativity of the male mind—and hanging out with a bunch of men who’re actively seeking to live a more positive, meaningful, inspired life is a good place to start. Weekend conferences are best if you’re hoping to meet other people, because they offer more chances to socialize than day-long seminars provide. If the conference feels too pricey, contact the organization or speaker and see if there’s a way you can work at the event in exchange for free admission.
Yes, the crowd will be 70 percent women, but the men will be good ones.

5) Romance and Power Tools

Most cities have some type of philanthropic singles organizations, and whether a group attracts young singles or mature singles depends on the city and the group. (Check out Senior Corps. www.seniorcorps.org, for volunteer groups for senior singles.)
The best part of meeting people through volunteer work? You help make the world a better place and meet a lot of like-minded eligibles. (Besides, helping others gives you good dating karma.) If there are no volunteer groups in your area catering specifically to singles, check out Habitat for Humanity, www.habitat.org. It’s a great way to meet people of all ages, and you get to spend the day in the sunshine using power tools. What could be better?

6) Charity Benefits

Charity dinners do attract a moneyed crowd, but the best way to meet people will actually get you in for free. (Hey, there’s no reason to put your nest egg in jeopardy just to have a fancy night out on the town. And be careful when you get there—one wild night with an auction paddle could have you eating cat food in your eighties.)
The secret to attending all the biggest charity benefits in your city? Volunteer! Volunteers generally eat for free, and you can go out on the town for as many nights as your closet will allow. Charities are always looking for warm bodies to help with auction items, ticket-taking, setup, and other odd jobs on the day of the event. The best job? Checking people in at the door—you’ll get to meet every person who attends and better yet, you’ll know if that sharp-dressed charmer has tickets for two. Plus, it won’t be blatantly obvious that you’re flirting up a storm, because it’s your job to be charming and nice.

7) Parties Once-Removed: Six Degrees of Barbeque

You know how you always invite the same seventeen people to all of your parties? Bring some new blood to the old gang. With Parties Once-Removed, everybody you invite brings someone that nobody else in the group knows. Think of it as six degrees of separation, only backwards. Voila! You’ll have a party full of brand-new people who already get along great with your closest friends.


Excerpted from Lisa Daily’s dating book, HOW TO DATE LIKE A GROWN-UP: Everything You Need to Know to Get Out There, Get Lucky, or Even Get Married in Your 40s, 50s and Beyond.

See Lisa’s free dating articles, tips and advice visit
http://www.lisadaily.com/datingexperttv


Wedding Resources


Bite Me! Why Women Drool Over Vampires.

By Lisa Daily

Everyone from teenaged girls to single women to suburban mommies to grandmothers are going crazy over Edward Cullen, the drool-worthy vampire in the wildly popular new Twilight movie.

Why are women everywhere lusting over Hollywood's latest bloodsucker?  It isn't just the fact that the vampire Edward Cullen is played by the uber-yummy Robert Pattinson although that helps.)  Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has created the perfect man in Edward:  Smart, funny, handsome, and utterly possessed by the girl he loves.


Bring On the Bad Boy Vampires.

Edward isn't our first vampire to turn our heads, and he certainly won't be the last.  Who can forget Bill from HBO's popular First Blood, Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and of course, the vampire Lestat from Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles.


What's so appealing about vampires?

Lit and Hollywood vampires have a stunning appeal to our most basic instincts:  They are powerful, they are always devastatingly handsome, and they are more than a little bit dangerous.  Vampires are the ultimate bad boys:  They are self-assured, inherently sensual and hold the promise of eternal youth.  And, um, there's always the possibility they might bite you in bed.

Not only that, falling for a vampire is the ultimate high stakes love affair  -- if you win his love, it will be forever.  (Although, if you don't, you'll probably wind up as his dinner.)

In the case of Edward Cullen, there's something so devastatingly tempting about a man who is so self-sacrificing - so in love with us that he is willing to deny the most basic part of himself just to be with us.  He'll endure the greatest pain and sacrifice he's ever known to love us, protect us, save us from the bad guy.

SWF Seeks Vampire.

This is the very reason why we find vampire characters so appealing - they illustrate what we want for ourselves:  passionate, once-in-a-lifetime, undying love.  Someone who would do anything to be with us.  Someone who would protect us from those who might harm us.  Someone who's willing to commit to forever.

Why would any woman be willing to risk so much to be with a "bad boy", vampire or otherwise?

Certainly there are some women who like the curl-your-toes challenge of trying to get a leopard to change his spots.  But most women who are attracted to such bad boys are suffering from low self-esteem.  The only way you feel worthy of love is if some man deems you so worthy he's willing to go to extraordinary lengths to win you.  You're looking for someone who sees something in you that you can't see for yourself.

The problem with this is that dating a high-stakes guy means the odds are a lot higher that you're going to lose.  So, instead of finding that amazing guy who finally makes you feel like you're worth everything, you're way more likely to end up as roadkill - your heart broken by yet another man to reinforce what you already believe - that you aren't worth it after all.

And there's nothing more tragic than that.  Because as steamy as Edward and his brethren might be, the truth is, we never find true love until we know we deserve it.

You deserve it.


Dating Expert Lisa Daily is an internationally known dating coach and the author of Stop Getting Dumped!

All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and Glamour Magazine

Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter with great dating advice on how to snag the man of your dreams at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com

Copyright ©2002-2008 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.



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